depression

How do you comprehend the idea that you haven’t found true peace and happiness yet. It almost discredits the fleeting moments within which you find joy. What are you supposed to do to achieve true happiness when you know the steps but cannot complete them. How does one accept this and not simultaneously develop a doomsday outlook on life. Do you feed into these moments of joy knowing they are not to be lasting or do you accept your place within this world as lackluster and incomplete. Medication, therapy, small breakthroughs, routines, and positive thinking. All of this to sit in a place of contentment within numbness. A feeling of everything but nothing all at once which is covered in a smile and glimmer of hope in ones eyes that comes from a false origin. All to be summarized and encapsulated in a single word. depression.